It's A Wonderful Life (1946)

Nothing beats this one for Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

A Christmas Story (1983)

You'll shoot your eye out Ralphie!

I mean, if a kid can't have an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle (with a compass in the stock) for Christmas, then what's the use of having Christmas at all?!!!

Only one film left to go. What's it gonna be? Any guesses?

Miracle On 34th Street (1947)

When did you stop believing in Santa? If you answered anything other than "never"...you're wrong. Dead wrong!!

Kris Kringle's got a message for ya...he's REAL, and he's pissed!

A Christmas Carol (1951)

I didn't really want to have remakes on the list, but I can't leave out this version of Dicken's tale, as it's the best one. (although Robert Zemeckis's version from 2009 is pretty damn impressive too)

Love Actually (2003)

I was debating whether or not to include this film on the list, seeing as it's more about relationships, than it is Christmas (film takes place during the five weeks leading up to Christmas), but ultimately I decided that if Bad Santa and Nightmare Before Christmas can make the list, so can this.

Following the lives of eight couples, (of the paternal, fraternal and traditional kind), the film is a pastiche of people falling in and out of love, looking for love, hoping for love, overcoming lost loves, and yearning for love that can never be.

Elf (2003)

A story about a human, raised as an elf at the North Pole, who has to venture out into the world to find his real father.

The Polar Express (2004)

What are some of the key ingredients in order to make a great Christmas film? You'd need a bit of fantasy, a scoop of adventure, a sprinkle of marvel and a dash of wonderment. Combine them in a bowl, stir them together and pour them onto film and you'd wind up with Robert Zemeckis's The Polar Express.

Pictured Above: Tom Hanks

It's a story of a boy whose Christmas beliefs are in doubt, and the adventure that he must undertake in order to restore them. The film stars Tom Hanks as just about everyone, from the boy himself, to the narrator, conductor, hobo-angel, Santa Claus and I believe he also played the part of the train.

The boy, who's never named in the film, falls asleep on Christmas eve, when he's awoken by a strange sound. As he curiously looks out his window, he sees the Polar Express arrive at his doorstep. Or does it? Maybe he's still asleep, and it's all a dream.

 After being questioned by conductor Tom Hanks, the boy hesitantly gets on the train as it's peeling out. He enters the passenger car and is greeted by some other kids, whom have also been picked up by the express, bound for the North Pole.

Most of the film takes place on the train, hence the movie's title, only stopping for plot devices along the way. During this time, we're introduced to scenes involving dancing waiters serving hot chocolate, hobo's skiing atop the trains' cars, and a harrowing train out of control sequence, before finally arriving at the North Pole.

One of the most surreal scenes in the film takes place here, as the elves are gathered in the town center, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa. The elves prepare the sleigh, hen stroll out the reindeer, and finally the reins, with a great deal of pageantry. Then, in unison, they start singing (more like chanting), "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" in anticipation of Santa's appearance. When the big guy finally does show up, the elves lose it, frantically jumping around everywhere, as if they were at a rock concert. Speaking of which, the Steven Tyler elf even shows up to belt out a Christmas tune, as unnecessary as that is.

After finally believing, the main boy is transported back home, via the Polar Express, where he's awoken by his sister Christmas morning.

Was it all just a dream?

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

The last of the Rankin/Bass stop motion Christmas specials is easily the most famous, and probably the best in most people's eyes.

The film is pretty much a morality story about how being an individual, despite being shunned by your peers, can eventually turn in your favor. It's not just Rudolph who's an outside in this film (because of his shiny red nose). The story also follows Hermey, an elf who just doesn't want to make toys like the other elves, all he really wants to be is a dentist. When he professes his intentions to his co-workers, his slave driving boss goes ape-shit, and the rest of the elves shun him for not wanting to work in a (sweat)shop. Hermey, lacking self esteem, decides to take off and run away.

Meanwhile, back on the old pond, Rudolph is making nice with the other reindeer, under false pretenses, mind you (his parents cover up his shiny nose so that he won't be an outcast), but it doesn't last long. After asking out a young doe, Rudolph is thrilled at her saying yes, that he loses his wits and literally "flips out", which causes his nose to become exposed to the other douchbag reindeer children, who in turn mock him for being different. Hell, even Santa chastises Donner (Rudolph's dad) for having an ugly child. For shame!

The young doe accepts Rudolph regardless, and breaks out in song, much to the dismay of her father, who pulls a Jerry Orbach circa Dirty Dancing move, by proclaiming that no doe of his will ever be with an outcast like Rudolph! How dare he...nobody puts doe in a corner.

So, Rudolph continues on alone until he bumps into Hermey, and they agree to accept each other's differences. Together they stroll along the mountain side, when they bump into Yukon Cornelius, the self proclaimed greatest gold prospector in the land. There be gold in these hills. GOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLDDD I tells ya, !

So they all head off together, like a motley crew of Oz rejects, prospecting for gold, until that is, the Abominable Snowman interferes, forcing the group to head off into uncharted waters aboard an ice floe, ultimately crash landing on the island of misfit toys.

They might be misfits, but dang can they carry a tune! After singing their welcome, our crew is off to ask permission to stay on the island with the other misfits, from King Moonrazor. After initially denying them access, the king offer's them a deal (much like the great and powerful Oz). Tell Santa about the misfit toys, and they can stay on the island. Rudolph figures that his nose will give away the group to the Abominable Snowman, so he abandons them and heads off back home.

He finally arrives back home, but he's all grownsed-up now, and finds out that his parents went off looking for him, and that he must rescue them from the Abominable Snowman. He, of course, gets his ass handed to him and must rely on help from his misfit friends to save the day.

After all the hoopla, Santa is threatening to cancel Christmas, because of bad weather. If only he had some sort of light beacon to cut through the blindingness of the storm??? Why, Rudolph has a shiny red nose that lights up the sky. Could it be, is Christmas saved? Why yes it is, prompting Burl Ives to burst into song

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992)

This is one of those rare sequels that actually lives up to the original..mostly because it's essentially the same movie!

Once again the premise is the same (family is going on Christmas vacation, they oversleep, chaos ensues and Kevin gets separated from his family and must fend for himself)

The beginning of the film is almost a carbon copy of the original, with Kevin (unfairly) punished and banished to the attic, where Kevin's mom notes that last year they had a problem that started just like this. Kevin's uncle even insults him again, this time calling him a little pervert.

Instead of being forgotten at home, Kevin makes it to the airport (what a relief) but gets separated from his family at the airport (here we go) and ends up following a man who just happens to have the same jacket that Kevin's dad does, leading Kevin onto a flight bound for New York City, instead of Miami, where the rest of his family is going. Why does this keep happening?!!

Once Kevin arrives in NYC, he realizes the mix-up, and proceeds to use all his savvy gained from the last film to check himself into the Plaza Hotel, much to the chagrin of the hotel manager.

Also arriving in NYC, fresh out of prison, on the exact same day as Kevin, are the Wet Bandits (Marv and Harry, although now they're the Sticky Bandits). Not only do they arrive in the same city, but they actually bump into each other on the street! Now what are the odds of that happening? They must be astronomical!
So once again, you'll have to suspend you disbelief, but for much, much longer this time.

The writer and director of the first film (John Hughes and Chris Colombus respectively) decided to go way over the top with this one. So far over the top that they landed on the other side. You can tell that this film is an homage to the slapstick follies of the 20's and 30's, as Marv and Harry do their best Chaplin and Keaton impersonations throughout the film. The pitfalls in this film would kill any ordinary man, but seeing as it's a movie, the two schmoes keep getting up and falling back down again to no avail.

Still, as similar as it is to the original, you just can't help but enjoying yourself as all the original cast members return, along with some new faces, namely Tim Curry as the uppity hotel manager and British singing sensation Susan Boyle, er, I mean Brenda Fricker as the homeless pigeon lady (providing essentially the same character as the "Old Man" from the original)

Just a word of warning...stay away from the dreck that is Home Alone 3 & 4

Home Alone (1990)

This film isn't really a Christmas film, in the terms of being about Santa, but it does take place during the Christmas season and has a good wholesome message to deliver, so it makes the list.

Suspension of your disbelief is not required to enjoy the film, but it is definitely necessary in order to make sense of it, seeing that an 8 year old, left to his own devices, is able to thwart career criminals out of a big heist is absolutely preposterous!

The plot itself hinges on 2 small details.

1) Kevin is treated like crap from everyone in his family, including his big brother who purposely eats Kevin's pizza, then mocks him for not having any. When Kevin understandably attacks him, knocking over beverages and ruining dinner, he's immediately ostracized from the family and banished to the attic. His uncle even calls him a jerk to his 8 year old face!!! Unbelievable!!

2) The family oversleeps, and is in a rush and panic in order to make their flight, thereby totally forgetting about the child in the attic...although, the older sister does do a childrens head count outside before leaving, she mistakenly counts the neighbor's kid (who randomly wanders over) as Kevin.

If either of these things don't happen, Kevin gets on the plane with his family, the Wet Bandits (Marv and Harry) rob the place and make off with the loot. If only!

But that would be a 10 minute short film (and not a very good one), so it's Kevin vs. the Bandits over the next 90 minutes for your viewing pleasure.

The film is a fantastic piece of entertainment, for young and old alike, with a great holiday soundtrack and an amazing original score from Hollywood legend John Williams. The pace is quick, and director Chris Colombus does a great job of getting the most out of young Macaulay Culkin, who's precociousness enables him to carry the film at such a young age.

One Magic Christmas (1985)

This is one of the Christmas films that has always stuck with me. It's a little known Canadian film, made by Disney, but you can see many things that are distinctly Canadian throughout the film (including RED mailboxes!)

The film stars Mary Steenburgen as Ginnie, a mother of two who just doesn't seem to have the Christmas spirit. She works long hours for low wages, just trying to make ends meet in order to support her family. A Christmas angel named Gideon is assigned to her case, and must get her to regain her lost Christmas spirit.

There are a lot of dark elements in this film, not to give anything away, but it's not your average uplifting Christmas movie. In fact, most of it is quite depressing. The film deals with a lot of grown up issues, but through the eyes of Ginnie's children (whose performances carry the film)

But, it's a Disney film, so it's not totally depressing. The movie also features what I think is the best incarnation of Santa Claus ever to be captured on film, including a twist on Santa's elves.

This film also marks the debut of a young Sarah Polley, as the neighbor girl Molly, and another veteran Canadian actor, Elias Koteas.

The Little Drummer Boy (1968)

Not so much a Christmas special as it is a Holy-Day special (see what I did there), The Little Drummer Boy is yet another stop motion production from the minds of Rankin/Bass (damn do they like Christmas!) I figured that in the midst of all this Santa business, there ought to be at least one Jesus centric special (after all, it IS his birthday) Although I don't know why he keeps trying to interfere with our consumerist pageantry...give it up already! Christmas is about getting presents, getting drunk and making out with your cousin's fiancee. Take that Christianity!

But I digress...

Aaron (drummer boy), hates the world, and everyone in it because one day some bandits raided his farm and killed his parents and burned the farm down, and he's still mad about it! Talk about holding a grudge...let it go man!!!

So he roams the desert with his animal friends, (a camel, a donkey and a lamb) hating on humans, when he's abducted by a greedy no-gooder, whom much like the rock music industry today, is keen on exploiting Aaron and his drumming skills for profit. 

They arrive in Bethlehem, and Aaron performs one song for the townies. When the audience goes bat shit insane and demands more, instead of giving them an encore, he does his best Axl Rose impersonation and tells them all to go to hell and runs back into the desert, where he runs into 3 wise men. They need a camel to jockey their shit to the new born king. Aaron's kidnapper sells him up the river by trading Aaron's camel friend Joshua for a bag of gold, then dumping Aaron in the desert.

Now Aaron is livid, so he follows the 3 wise men, hell bent on revenge, when he comes upon the baby Jesus in a manger, and just like you were told as a child, magic happens whenever Jesus is around! Aaron sees his face, and no longer hates the world. Instead he is filled with love for all mankind.

Seems logical.

Frosty The Snowman (1969)

You know how they say that watching some of your childhood favorites as an adult can ruin them? Well, here's a perfect example. This Christmas special is all kinds of ridiculous.

The message that I got from this is, it's ok for a child to run away to the North Pole as long as they're back in time for dinner! And if you're cold in the forest, no worries, cause the animals will start a fire for you. Oh, and then Santa will return you home safely...not to your front door, mind you. He'll just casually drop you off on your roof and then fly away. Good luck getting down little girl!

The only thing worth saving from this mess is the title song.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

Ah, the Grinch, a mean old desperate fool
who's idea of Christmas, was stealing from Who's

The noisiest neighbors in all of the land
the Who's forced the Grinch to come up with a plan

He concocted and schemed, while the Who-villians dreamed
Then grabbed some old sacks, and his innocent dog Max

who did all of the work, for that big grinning jerk,
while being prodded and whipped, into the town they did slip

Stealing candies from babies, and ice cubes from trays
not one single present did the Grinch let go stray

Back to the mountain top to wait for the sound
of the Who-villians crying when no presents were found

But instead of whimpers, all the Grinch heard was glee
and watched as his heart grew bigger (times 3)

He returned all the gifts and joined in the feast
for all the Grinch really wanted was a slice of roast-beast

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

National Lampoon's 3rd "Vacation" film is a bit of an  anomaly in the series. It's the only one (out of 5) where the Griswold family don't actually go on vacation! And yet, it's easily the best of the bunch.

Instead of some exotic getaway or cross country trip, the film focuses on the Griswold's home life during the Christmas break, where all kinds of uproarious hell is just waiting to be unleashed by the family's expected guests.

Whether he's trying to cut down a tree, install lights on the exterior of the house or simply browse the woman's department in a shopping mall, Chevy Chase shines as patriarch Clark W. Griswold, an everyman who just wants to get through the holidays and use his Christmas bonus to install a pool in the yard.

What makes this film a Christmas classic, is that every scene is so easily remembered. Whether it's a touching moment (Clark stuck in the attic, watching old xmas films of himself as a kid) a ridiculous moment (Clark zooming downhill on a souped up sled) or a fantasy moment (Clark looking out his window and dreaming of the pool...and Mary!), the movie never gets bogged down by useless filler. Not to mention it has Chevy Chase delivering one of the best rants in film history.

So sit back, grab some hot cocoa, stuff your face with cookies and enjoy the hap-hap happiest holiday film since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (1970)

You'd better watch out! You'd better not cry! You'd better not pout! I'm telling you why....ah, nothing says Christmas like making idle threats towards children!

This was Rankin/Bass 's 4th Christmas special, another stop-motion episode that answers the question, "How did Santa Claus come to be?" Most people know the legend, but I like the spin this puts on the Kris Kringle lore.

Some things you'll learn from this special include, Santa learned his ho ho ho-ing from seals, toys used to be outlawed, flying reindeer were originally used to bust people out of jail and the most shocking thing of all...Santa was a freckle faced ginger!!!

The film also features one of the best named characters in film history, the Mayor of Sombertown, Burgermeister Meisterburger!! Ha, I'd vote for that guy on his name alone.

Just kidding...I don't vote.

As is the usual with Rankin/Bass productions...this film includes a couple of musical numbers, including the more known "Put One Foot In Front of the Other" and of course, the timeless titular jingle, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

Enjoy!

[Exclusive equals everything except everything else]

Fred Claus (2007)

What do you get when you take the director of Wedding Crashers, the writers of Disney's Cars and I Am Sam and throw in 5 Oscar nominated (and 3 winning) actors??? A VERY ambitious Christmas movie that never seems to stay on track, but it doesn't fall off of it either.

Vince Vaughn does his best Vince Vaughn impersonation throughout the film as Fred, the older jaded brother of Santa, whose financial troubles force him to re-connect with his Yuletide family.

The film plays more like a dysfunctional family comedy than a straight Christmas film, but it has enough heartwarming scenes to overcome its silly shortcomings (the zany sound effects throughout were a bit overkill)

While this might not ever be on anyone's "All Time Best Christmas Film" list, it's charm, acting talent and alluring set designs should keep it relevant each Holiday Season.

Enjoy!

The Year Without A Santa Claus (1974)

Throughout the 60's & 70's, Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass created some of the best Christmas themed specials, using stop-motion to bring their tales to life. While others are more traditional (and will be featured on this list at some point), this story of how Santa is too sick to fulfill his duties, leaving a pair of elves to save the day, is by far my favorite.

The REAL stars of the show though, are the two brothers Heat Miser & Snow Miser, whose sibling rivalry just won't let it snow for Christmas.

The songs will be stuck in your head for days...you've been warned.

Enjoy!

The Santa Clause (1994)

I guess the kids consider this one a classic, and I might have to also, seeing that it's 16 years old, very popular and made enough money to keep people coming back for more. (Two sequels that are less enjoyable)

But just because it's popular, doesn't mean that I have to like it. It does however, have just enough fantastical whimsy to make the list. Damn kids and their whimsy!!!

Enjoy!

Scrooged (1988)

My favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" is definitely the most twisted!

Bill Murray is a treat to watch as the Ebenezer character, this time in the form of a cynical TV exec who only cares about ratings, and less about Christmas. 3 ghosts haunt him during the night and hijinks ensue... it's a blast!!!

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

 Another non traditional....

just kidding. It's Charlie Brown, what more is there to say?

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Another non traditional Christmas flick, Tim Burton delves into his dark imagination (what else is new?) to bring us a unique look at how Santa's holiday affects the King of All Hallow's Eve, one Jack Skellington.

Even with all it's weirdness, the Chrsitmas spirit still shines through. A modern day classic!

Bad Santa (2003)

Tis the season to be naughty!!! An unconventional and non traditional Christmas film, Bad Santa takes your jingle bells and stuffs them down your throat.

Crude and abrasive, this is definitely not for the kiddies.

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

A long lost classic. Most people don't know what I'm talking about when I mention this film, as it flew under most's people's radars when it came out in 1985 (it bombed in theaters, only making half of it's $50 million budget back...even 25 years later!)

The film is like 2 movies in one, with the first half set hundreds of years ago, dealing with the creation of Santa, then fast forwarding to 1985 where an elf named Patch gets involved with an evil toymaker who is set on destroying Santa forever. I'm sure you know how this turns out!

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Charles Dickens's classic tale is re-told for the umpteenth time in Brian Hensen's adaptation of an avaricious curmudgeon who is taught the true meaning of Christmas when he is visited during the night by three ghosts....but with Muppets!

I'll be back tomorrow for movie number 2

Enjoy!

[from DEC 1st]

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